Under Imaginary Circumstances Here is the Reality Check

I have said goodbye to white flour and sugar.

I am not only restricting my daily calorie intake, but I am choosing healthy foods.

I am limiting my carb intake and choosing only complex low glycemic index carbs.

I am doing some sort of cardio activity for at least 60 minutes everyday.

I have started taking Ocella (Yaz generic) birth control to regulate periods and control cysts. 

When you have PCOS your goal can't be a number on the scale, because it's different for us…we can't just decide to follow the standard rules of weight loss and know there will be a payoff. There is no formula and there is no even trade. After you've exhausted all internet searches for the magic weight loss spell or how to sell your chubby soul to the perfect hormone balancing low glycemic devil...after you've weeded through every message board and forum full whiny giver-uppers...you either give up or you face reality. When you have PCOS your goal is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Your goal is to not give up even though doing all the "right" things have caused you to gain 10 lbs in less than one week rather than lose. When you have PCOS you have to work twice as hard, for twice as long, for half the results…if your lucky.    

So let's just say after a year of following my plan I am in the best shape possible…let's say I have miraculously lost 59lbs…even at 124lbs (the very lowest weight considered healthy for my height on the cruel BMI chart) there will still be irreversible damage on my body that I'll want to hide. All of you chubby wubbies who wear booty shorts and tight tank tops no matter your weight and believe bebe should have plus sizes…those of you who do not inspect how your backside looks before leaving your house…please go embrace your bodies somewhere else…I saw some rainbow and kitten themed background templates that will be perfect for your blog. 

I got my first cyst when I was 15, but my weight didn't get out of control until after I graduated high school…you know how it's said that God won't give your more than you can handle? So true…I could not have handled being fat in high school. In high school my weight fluctuated from 113-127lbs. I remember specifically, because  like many girls that age I was obsessed. Even at a tiny size I still hid plenty about my body. I am 5'6" which is about as average as you can get for a women, but I had reached that height by the age 11…intense growth spurts left my hips and thighs covered in stretch marks then at about age 14 cellulite developed in the area spanning my knees to my hips…it didn't matter that I was 113 lbs and it didn't matter what exercises I tried…I blame the chubby pale cellulite ridden women who came before me…bad genes I guess. I never look back and think, "gee I'll never be that tiny again, if only I embraced my flaws and wore a bikini". Um, I have cellulite and stretch marks and that pretty much overrides being tiny…even when I somehow overcome the evil forces of PCOS and lose all the weight…I am still not going to prance around in a bikini.  Stretch marks are like nipples…they are private parts, I don't plan on sharing them with the world and I don't hold with high regard a gal who does. The majority of my irreversible damage exists between my knees and hips so I need to plan for fashion that will camo this danger zone. I also have a scary varicose vein on my calf which I really don't want to share…I think there are some extremely painful treatments I can start saving up for to combat that sucker.